CITY DATING
/Visiting a new city is the terrestrial equivalent of a first-date; you see its best self, all gussied up and dying to make a good impression. In one whirlwind first encounter, you get the highlights — the things it’s most eager to divulge, the parts of itself it’s most willing to share — all with the mutually-understood intention of luring you back for a second round.
But as we all know, first dates don’t tell you much about real life...
To shamelessly overextend my metaphor, in previous travels I’d tricked myself into believing the new city and I were married. Or at least cohabitating. I thought my brief encounters afforded me a privileged glimpse into what our life together would really be like, and I crafted my daydreams accordingly. For instance, when we first visited Barcelona as tourists in 2014, I genuinely felt I *knew* knew for the place—the neighborhoods, the food, the shops, the people. After nine days, I could picture what our life would be like together, how we’d raise our children, the long hours we’d spend relaxing in the sun and walking down the beach. (Perhaps this is unsurprising coming from a girl who got engaged after 7 months of dating.) "Barcelona," I thought, "I know you. And I’m ready to take the plunge."
Two years later, I would find out that I was — of course — totally mistaken. I didn’t know know anything; that was just a first-date. Now that we actually are living together, I see a completely different side. The city has secrets and quirks. Sometimes it’s smelly. The culture is complicated. Jamón ibérico is overrated. The local bureaucracy is thick but relatively efficient. It’s not that I love it any less; it’s just a more interesting, more complex place than I could’ve imagined at the outset. There are countless things that, as a resident, I’m beginning to see, but that exist just beneath the gaze of a casual weekend visitor.
Having had that realization about Barcelona has changed my general attitudes about traveling. For better or worse, I’m now acutely aware that I’m only on a first-date. No more daydreaming about our marital bliss; I’m just a first-timer, grudgingly conscious of all that I don’t and can’t possibly know. In some ways, it makes our quick weekend trips feel somewhat shallow and superficial; in other ways, it makes me very grateful to have gotten the chance to really explore one culture while bopping around to get a taste of others.
To that end, we recently took a quick trip to Prague. It was every bit the enchanting, fairytale town that we’d been promised. Spared from worst of the destruction during the World Wars, the charming old buildings are intact and make you feel as though you’re strolling through a different time. Over three days, we checked off the TripAdvisor top “Things to Do,” and while I didn’t exactly come away feeling like I knew what life in Prague is really like, I do think our first date ended with a definite spark.
