ONE YEAR OF NON-US RESIDENCY
/Today marks our one-year anniversary of leaving the U.S. (not to be confused, of course, with our one-year anniversary of actually arriving in Spain); we took off for Europe on May 31, 2016, and with the exception of a short trip back during the holidays, have been overseas ever since.
The experience of not being a U.S. resident can be summed up as a series of nots. It's been one year of not one-click shopping on Amazon Prime. Not eating New York-style pizza or familiar-tasting ground beef or quasi-natural peanut butter. Not being expected to tip at a restaurant or having the check arrive unsolicited. Not owning a television. Not being able to small-talk with strangers or eavesdrop on their conversations. Not overdosing on twice-daily Starbucks venti drip coffees. Not enjoying the perks of unlimited mobile data plans. Not being forced to consume U.S. political news against my will.
People often ask what I miss most about the U.S. and it's a hard question to answer. These things are neither good nor bad — they're just not. Sometimes I miss the unthinking ease of Amazon Prime, but I also appreciate the check that brick-and-mortar stores place on my spending habits. My mouth longs for a good ol' greasy pizza parlor, but my thighs are pretty okay with the current shortage of options. It's irritating both to hunt down restaurant staff when you're ready to pay and leave, but also to be chased out prematurely by a waiter trying to turn a table. I'm occasionally curious about what the teenage girls on the bus are talking about and giggling over, but more often I relish my bubble of non-comprehension.
On a day-to-day basis I'd say I don't miss much. But that's not exactly true. When we no longer ask incoming houseguests to smuggle in American products — think bulk packs of Bounce dryer sheets, Trader Joe's multigrain pancake mix, Whole Foods fresh-ground honey-roasted peanut butter, or deodorant, hair products, shaving creams, and razor blades — you'll have proof that we've weaned ourselves off America. (However, considering how much I appreciate a good fabric-softened bath towel, I'm not sure that day is coming anytime soon.) But more than anything, I very much miss not being in the same hemisphere as everyone on my "Favorites" contact list. It's a special kind of lonely when you wake up and want nothing more than to call your family and friends...but realize you'll have to wait at least 6 more hours for them to get out of bed.
So the moral of the story: You should visit. We would love nothing more. #butpleasebringpeanutbutter
